With summer just starting to kick in we thought it might be a good idea to give our lovely readers a few tips on how to keep cool in the summer heat. Unfortunately for those of you looking for practical, feasible solutions for keeping cool I was tasked with writing it; meaning that pretty much all of the tips in this article are nonsense (although hopefully, moderately entertaining nonsense that will give you a few ideas.)
Tip 1: Challenge the local youths to a water fight
We’re starting off with a tip that will require a certain level of bravery. Youths are notoriously vicious, persistent and reckless when it comes to water fights. While you are guaranteed to get cooled down, if you are not carefully your mobile phone may also get ‘cooled down’ and killed. There is also the possibility of this option resulting in you on your knees whimpering “please, please, no more” while being unceremoniously pelted with water balloons.
Tip 2: Fill a paddling/wading pool with ice and water
A much more civilised option, however it could ultimately be much more dangerous, especially if alcohol is involved. I imagine doctors who know about things like pneumonia would recommend avoiding falling asleep in pools of ice.
Tip 3: Build your own air-conditioning unit
If you are a dab hand at electronics, welding, chemistry and engineering you may fancy trying to build your own air-conditioning unit like they guy above. Be warned though, you may die of heat poisoning before you get anywhere near finishing it. There is also the possibility of death by manufacturing accident.
Tip 4: Wear as few clothes as possible
If you look particularly good with your clothes off this could actually be a good idea (as long as you slap on the sun cream). If not you may risk ridicule or even the wrath of those dastardly local youths and their water balloons.
Tip 5: Invent an anti-umbrella
And no I do not mean a parasol, I’m well aware they exist. I mean an umbrella that rains on you when it isn’t even raining. Go on, invent one, you’ll be a billionaire.
What tips do you have for keeping cool in the summer heat? Let us know in the comments section below, the more ridiculous the better.