So up here along the 55th parallel and despite some unseasonable warmth, the tilt of the earth’s axis continues to remind us of the realities of our place on a ball spinning round a bigger ball in a blackness we still don’t entirely understand, and the instinct to hibernate overcomes social nicety. Fortunately we’ve arranged several outlets for such a contingency.
Image by andrew_freese via flickr
Many folk will sit down of an evening and wire on an entire series of television, maybe a Twilight marathon. Calm Your Beans does not judge you for that. What is (hopefully) becoming more acceptable as a Thing To Do is sitting down to a nice bit of video gaming. I realise as I type this that it is not quite there, and it may be because of the horrid carpet the chaps are playing on in the photo there. What colour is that, anyway? Burnt taupe? Nicotine? Anyway, it still feels a bit strange to talk about your experiences within a video game world (slaying dragons, fomenting revolution, slaying ghosts, mostly slaying things) in the way one might discuss the weekly happenings in The X-Factor. But that’s another post.
So you’ve decided to play some games. Have you got your console? Good. But to really settle in against the forces of the elements that implacably chase you through your poorly-insulated homestead you’ll need supplies. Industrial-sized bags of crisps and teeth-vibratingly-caffeinated energy drinks are the stereotype, but guys, the world will not change unless we make it the place we want it to be. Stir fries are incredibly quick to prepare and if we presume that you’ve incorporated other human beings into your gaming life then you may operate a food-production rota that ensures food is never not being made. Get creative! Making your gaming-nest fully self-sufficient is key to fostering a sense of true immersion in the fictional world.
Speaking of other humans, where are they going to sit? You will need sufficient space/television size to accommodate between one and three of your companions without engaging in the kind of close-quarters that leads to perilous combinations of body odours. Unless the game involves putting multiple people into confined spaces and you wish to incorporate all five of your senses. For the authentic Skyrim experience, try bathing medieval-style for the weeks prior to your friends’ arrival, and insist that opening a window would be breaking character.
Finally, no social event is complete without generous amounts of alcohol. Not only will this perform the usual duty of loosening tongues and revealing basic prejudices, it will also encourage a full engagement with the gaming world. Try role-playing as your characters: in FIFA 12, pretend that certain players fare worse when someone who had an affair with your former partner is in the opposition and discuss at length the psychological impact this has had despite the programmers not including such a feature; in Modern Warfare, pretend all your friends are against you and form secret pacts in a Machiavellian fight for survival. In Gears of War, tell all the women to leave.
With the right preparation, your weekends should become a paradise of escapism on a level about which Downton Abbey could only dream. Any friends you still have by the end of your experiment are either true friends indeed or simply carry the same neuroses. Repeat until spring. For science.
Have you readied yourself for a winter of vicarious adventure? Let us know your strategies.
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November 21, 2011
Home and Hobbies